Written @ 8:50 p.m. on 2007-04-10
Drama Rama at the Mall of Hell, with Happy Ending
Hi There! I've been doing a little of construction around here! You will notice a big giant picture of my face front and center, and I also got the message that I must put a space between my paragraphs. Gee whiz!
Today was a day of shopping ups and downs. I really don't like shopping. I recently got a little bit bigger, and I bought a couple of things in my size, brought them home, and discovered what used to be my size is no longer. I actually cried over this, which is really dumb. Hil-The-Person-I-Want-To-Be does not cry over dumb shit like that. She only cries at Save The Children commercials. Hil-The-Person-I-Am cries about not fitting in jeans, and then cries about feeling dumb about crying!
B. was there to witness my stupid crying and he is so super-supportive. He tells me that I'm perfect.
So, I went back to the store and returned the stuff, and was walking around the mall with one of those black clouds over my head. P. asked to go to the "fairy store" which is really a Grateful Dead, Hippies Use the Backdoor, These Pipes Are For Tobacco Use Only store, and there I found the most beautiful dress.oh! My! God! It is a antiqued cream colored cotton dress with a fitted waist,capped sleeves, embroidered smocking and a frilly hem a bit shorter in front and longer in back. It looks very twenties. It looks like what the Sirens were wearing in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, only dry and not see-through. It is the kind someone really cool in greenwich village would wear over jeans. And being in the hippy store, it was "free size". Free size is the size that they put on clothes made in India, instead of saying,"We don't know what size it is, we made it for you fat americans and all we know is its way too big for us."
This is when I started to bargain with God. I couldn't go through another disappointment. "Free Size" can be an 8, or a 16, we don't know. I remembered "The Secret". I visualized myself putting it on, and loving it, and then... holding my breath...yes? no?
Yes! It fit! I came out of the dressing room and both of my daughters sighed,"Ooooooooh!" without any prompting at all."Mommy, that is PRETTY!"
B. just dropped by for a sec, and I showed him the dress. "You are what makes it pretty," he said, and he gave me a kiss. Ooooooh! That's my sexy cowboy!
My elder daughter got her ears pierced tonight, and was very brave. My little one held up a mirror right after they were pierced, and comforted her by sweetly saying,"See how beautiful they look?" It was priceless, and it was a personal triumph for me. My ex, being opposed to all things Hil-related, didn't want me to pierce them, and I slowly wore him down. It took months, but I prevailed. I utilized the element of surprise.
"Hi we are at the mall, just thought I'd ask you again, can I pierce N.'s ears?"
"I'll leave it up to you."
"But!"pause,"wait, you didn't say no?"
Turns out he was in marriage counseling with his current wife when I called, so of course he had to appear easy-going and flexible! Oh my god! I know! It was so awesome!
I really am a very happy girl, and I am so grateful for it everyday.