Written @ 8:40 a.m. on 2007-05-04
The Fans
Here is my masterpiece of sidewalk chalk. Thankyou. I do accept your worship.
Speaking of worship, oh my goodness! Yesterday I had to go to super walmart because I was broke. You always will know I am broke if you find me at the super walmart because, one, I really hate walmart, but, two, they are like a dollar cheaper on every single thing. It's not just the "fight the power I'm so liberal" part of me that hates walmart, it's the whole lay out of the place. It's the florescent lighting. It's the muzak. It's that the bagels are ten miles away from the cream cheese. Its that no one ever knows where anything is if you ask for help, and the lines are ten million miles long. Plus, you know, the politics. But, DAMN, the prices!
So, I brought B. along for distraction. What was B. wearing yesterday? Let me think...black wrestling t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, long black shiny basketball shorts, and black army boots. Yeah, that's his normal uniform. Yeah, he's a grown man. The boots and basketball shorts are a bit disjointed, but I got used to it after a while. Add to this, shaved head, lots of scruff, three pirate earrings (wink to sage!) and bruises everywhere from the last show. That's my pooky!
Anyways, it is important to the story what he was wearing because he was very much looking like The Heavy Metal Cowboy, as we perused the frozen foods. This was a stroke of luck. A lot of times he wears workout clothes and sneakers, but this particular day he happened to be looking like El Senor Bad Ass.
ANYWAYS, we are shopping along, and these two scrawny, malnurished little thirteen year old boys come up to us.
"Hey! Hey! You are the Heavy Metal Cowboy! Oh my god! You are so awesome!"
B. just looked at them like a deer frozen in the headlights.
"You are the Heavy Metal Cowboy, right? You totally are!"
B. squeaked out,"Yeah," and turned all kinds of red.
"You are the best man! You are hardcore! We were there last week and we will be there again May 18th! You're there May 18th, right?"
B. mumbles," Thanks! Oh, yeah, May 18th."
"Awesome! See you there!"
I waited for them to turn the corner, and then I started jumping up and down!
"Look at you! You are famous! Your fans follow you everywhere! Your dream is really coming true, B! I'm so proud of you!!!"
He looked all bashful, kicked the dirt, and said," Damn. I was so surprised I didn't know what to do. I should have said,'The Heavy Metal Cowboy doesn't want to talk to you! Get out of here!' I should have been in character. In the old days people could get fined a thousand dollars for that."
"You're fine,"I told him,"At least they didn't find you doing something really pussy, like yoga or buying me flowers or something."
B. grinned,still redfaced, "Yeah. I love you, baby." You never saw a happier pretend redneck.