Written @ 9:25 a.m. on 2007-05-22
I don't like the previous entry
I hate the previous entry. I want to say, YES!!!! I'm IN LOVE!!!!!!!!B. is MY GOD!!!!!!!!! I'm GETTIIINGGGGGGGG MARRRIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEED!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S SO WOOOOOONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!
But instead, I'm thinking, "ooch, ouch, eech, I hope,well, I think, it can't turn out nearly as bad as my last one, right???"
Fuck. My youthful spontaneity is busted.
The problem is that my generation has too many choices. We can have one lover. We can have 15. They can be male or female. You can be IN love, you can just be friends. You can get married. You can not. It's all good.
So, I love B. That's non-negotiable. That's solid, but do I need to marry him? What about the girls? Where will we live? Will we have children? What about the bills? What if....I twist an ankle and go to the ER on a thursday but B. is not there because his cellphone doesn't work and I can't reach him and I languish in the hospital alone until the following thursday and it's RAINING? What if THEN, huh? DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT????
Too many choices. I'm wearing a white dress this time. One decision is taken care of.