Written @ 8:54 p.m. on 2007-06-17
Grumpy bear
I was in an incredibly foul mood today. Can you believe it? After yesterday's uppy uppness?
-Um, Hil? Upness has one p.
-WTF! Uppness is not a word. Who the fuck do you think you are trying to tell me how to spell it?!
-Jeez, Hil. Mood!
-I tried to warn you. Give me my extra P and leave me alone!
Today was Father's Day. I did not see my father. I did not see the girl's father. I got in a tremendous fight with B. and I spent the day sleeping and pouting. We had one of those big soup pot fights...bring it ALLL up and throw it in the pot! You don't love me-we don't have any money-I'm afraid to get married-I'm too fat-We are never going to work, with a side of You aren't supportive of me-You need to grow up-You don't treat the kids like your own-You blame me every time you get mad at your ex. Delicious when served at a rolling boil!
I think it was just a venting thing on both of our parts. Money has been tight, and I was very disappointed that my ex cancelled his plans to see the girls today. It's true. I do take shit out on him when I'm mad at my ex. I wish I was better at letting things go. I wish I could say,"Yeah, I'm pissed about that, lets go to the zoo," instead of just grinding gears all day.
I'm freaking about not working yet. He's freaking because his business isn't turning profit yet. I'm lonely. I miss my old friends and family. I feel horrendously fat, yet am clinging on to my bad habits like they are the difference between life and death.
It will be ok. These are little compared to the mountains I faced in the past. Look, I'm getting over myself already! : )