Written @ 9:46 a.m. on 2007-07-13
Happy Anniversary to me!
No entry yesterday. Did ya'll think I died from eating Pig Stomach (oh, yeah, you have to capitalize Pig Stomach)? No, it actually wasn't bad. I got to try sho-fly pie, too! No flies are harmed in the making of sho-fly pie.
But that is not the story I have for you today. This one year anniversary apparently will not die. B. wanted to give me my gift right at the exact moment we met, but...things didn't work out with his training and my class. Wednesday he was hopping around,"I can't wait to give you your present! I'm going to give it to you tonight! I can't wait! Your outfit is perfect! Don't change! I'll be over at midnight, after your class!"
Let me explain some backstory. A long time ago, I was teasing B. about being more romantic. I want roses and white horses and my own personal castle filled with love letters. He gazed into my eyes,and said,"Don't worry, baby, I'll give you the most romantic present in the world...a starwars comic book." We all had a good laugh at our massive dorkiness.
So, B. arrives at midnight, with a paper bag. He sits me on the bed and makes me close my eyes, and presents me with....
A STARWARS COMIC BOOK!
"Now, Hil,"he tells me. This isn't any sort of comics. This is very rare and valueable and there is a certain way that it must be handled..."
So, he is showing me how to remove it from the plastic sleeve...
AND A RING FALLS OUT!
I'm yelling,"That's a ring! That's a ring!"
And he's yelling,"That's not an engagement ring! That's not an engagement ring!"
And I'm yelling,"What are you talking about it's not an engagement ring?! A ring just fell out of this here comic book!"
And he's yelling,"This is just a little ring! It's from freakin' walmart! It is not an engagement ring! I'm going to buy you a better ring, too! I love you! You can have two rings! It's ok! Happy anniversary! I love you more than anything in the world!"
So, then he tells me the story. A few months ago B. went to NC to wrestle. I called him on his cell, and found him sitting in the parking lot of a strip club, with all of his friends inside.
"Go inside and have fun. Your friends are going to think that you are pussywhipped and that I don't let you do anything," I told him.
"I don't want to waste money on strippers,"he tells me," I only came down here with forty bucks."
That wasn't quite the whole story. He was in walmart, in NC, and saw the ring. He thought it was really perfect for me, and would be a nice anniversary gift, but he only had forty dollars for the whole weekend. He bought the ring. He didn't eat the whole weekend. Awwwww!
My man loves me more than strippers. Or food.
B. tells me that this ring is an engagement ring finger warmer...just holding the place for an engagement ring. I tell him he might have a million dollar idea in this. Lots of couples save up for engagement rings. The finger warmer might be the next big thing.
But, because I think that was the sweetest, most romantic, wonderful ring in the whole world, given by the sweetest, most romantic, wonderful man, I think no ACTUAL engagement ring could be better.
And I can never, ever call him not romantic again.
