Written @ 7:28 p.m. on 2007-09-08
Issues
Well, I don't know what to do with myself, so I guess I'll write. It's supposed to be a healthy outlet.
My ex called today and informed N. that,"He was coming over right now, he was taking the girls for the whole weekend."
Read that again. N. Not me.
I grabbed the phone and told him, if he would like to make arrangements, he was welcome to, but N. isn't old enough to manage her schedule yet. The girls had plans already for today and tomorrow. They were visiting his dad this evening, in fact.
He went off. "You are keeping me from my kids! I'm coming to get them and there is nothing that you can do about it!"
Now, that sounded like a threat to me, so I reminded him that he did not have the right to snatch them up whenever he felt like it, and if he came to my house, he would be greeted by the police.
Do I have a big sign on my forehead that says bully me and my children?!!
N. of course, is very frightened by this, and doesn't know who to go to, her mom, her dad, or her grandfather.
I didn't quite know what to say either, but my gut told me not to send my children into the hands of their father when he is in that sort of mood. I don't mind if they visit, but he doesn't just announce he is taking them, with no notice, with no consideration for anyone else's plans. I stood by the door, double locked it, and watched for his truck.
My ex's dad comes over at the time he was invited, and he is all upset. My ex had hung up with me, and called him, and called him every name in the book for getting in the way of my ex seeing his children! I sent the children with him, as planned, so at least they would be out of the fray, but my worries were for naught. That pussy never showed up at my house. "Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".
The fact that we made plans for the day without my ex being involved sent my ex into a rage. The fact that we wouldn't drop them when he demanded it made him even madder. When, ever, anywhere, can you call someone and say I'm taking you for the weekend, now! And you have no choice!? When is that ever, in any context, acceptable?!
N. is very upset at being manipulated by him like that. I hope that I can handle the situation delicately, and help her feel better. Goddess, give me strength.
The good news is,
1. The girls are beginning to see what he is like
2. His parents are beginning to see what he is like
3. I stood up to him and didnt give him the girls
4. He is having a miserable day
5. The girls got to go with their Poppop and enjoy their day
6. B. was here, and made me dinner, and rubbed my feet, and told me I did the right thing
The bad news is,
I feel like I've been beaten with a baseball bat, and missed work.