Written @ 11:01 a.m. on 2007-09-17
I wore khaki pants
My weekend was so boring. My entire life is kindergarten geared lately. I want to listen to punk music, pierce and tattoo myself up some more, scratch my balls (or somebody elses), jaywalk and use multisyllabic words. I want to cuss and show my tits. I'm so sick of being nice and being in charge.
This is totally a "careful what you wish for" situation. Here I am, after years of struggle and sacrifice, home full-time with my girls. Excellent. No ex. Totally gone. Not even taking them for a chicken nugget at McDonalds. Nothing. A dream come true.
And then it comes to the reality of it. Sing it with me, boys and girls,"MOOOOOOMMMMMMY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS NNNNOOOOO LLLLLIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEE!"
Boso had a booth at a pagan festival yesterday, and was going to pay me to go and help him set up and take down, and basically assist him. ROCK, right? Hang out with Boso. Maybe get a free tattoo in the downtime. Meet some pagans from my area. Hobnob, if you will. Make some art contacts. Make a few bucks.
Well, I CAN'T. I don't have anyone to watch the girls. Pout AND huff.
I called my ex to see if he was free, and he refused to speak to me. He told me to communicate with him via email only. I didn't bother to push it further.
Oh, well, yeah, I have people. I've been working very hard at creating this support network in a city where two years ago I knew not a blessed soul but my ever supportive ex. I have B., B's mom, the girls' old sitter, Snowflake, Boso,Pop-Pop...and they are excellent for the 2 or 3 hour stretch, but the whole day ain't happenin'. There is nothing like a mom, or a spouse, where you can say,"Take this kid NOW! I don't CARE! Thanks! Bye!"
We went to the Looney Tunes festival at the art museum instead. There was a clown show. There were Looney Tunes cartoons. There were crafts to make and do. Someone in a bunny suit snuck up behind me and startled the heck out of me. There I was, decorating my paper bag, surrounded by three year olds, sharing the glue like a good girl, and I was thinking...
"OK! This is enough together time! Get me outta here!"
I just wanted to go to the pagan festival (pout some more).
And, because I work at home, and I've gained weight, and no one cares what I look like, I've found myself dressing like a mom. Like, I actually wore khaki pants. And not in a good way. I'm falling into the suburban bottomless stench of mediocrity.
"Help!" (Mrphff! MMmphrrf! gurgle, belch...that's me being eaten by the stench)
We've been to the zoo, the art museum, the creek, the playground, the park, the other park, the other, other park, the nature hike...and it was all very educational.
I'm looking for a small break, not too long, not involving my ex, perhaps in a regular, scheduled time period. Maybe,like, an exercise class? Or an art class? Or a wiccan group? I need one of those. And I need some cool girlfriends who don't drive minivans.
PS.
I was in the grocery store, and N said,"Mom, you should dye your hair red again."
"Really? I was thinking of that, or putting dreadlocks back in..."
"Dreadlocks!!!"gasped N in her trademark exaggerated way. "Like Captain Jack SPARROW!?!?"
"Aye, me lass, that be the very one!" I replied, grabbing some lettuce.
Ha!