Written @ 10:28 a.m. on 2007-10-14
Granddad
Yesterday was my grandfather's memorial service. It was held at my grandmother's gorgeous retirement community for millionaires, right on the hudson river. On the east side, so that all sunsets sizzle in the water. The family and invited guests were a collection of the northeastern upper class, all with the blue blazers and the red ties. I saw my little cousins, who are now grown up men, and exclaimed,"My god! You look like Kennedys!" Yeah, I really did say that. They are broad-shouldered, blonde and suntanned, each in his own cute little blue blazer and red tie. They used to be super annoying little boys with dufflebags of Thundercats and He-Men. Now they held up my little girls over their heads with one hand, and talked about cliff jumping at Squaw, and surfing in Chile.
I can, uh, totally relate.
The memorial service was packed, held in the meeting room of the community. Not an extra chair was to be found. Many of my grandmother's friends were there from her community, who did not ever know my grandfather as a walking, talking kind of guy. I grabbed my nephew, 17 months old, and volunteered to babysit. I wanted to give my exhausted brother a break, but also, I like to have a baby as a buffer so that I don't have to participate is things such as this.
All of the speaches mentioned my grandfather's stoicism, his love of nature, and his jokes. That is what he will be kindly remembered for. No one mentioned his alcoholism, his fierce discipline, and his isolation from those who might have loved him. It was inbetween the lines. I wondered, then, what I will be remembered for? My love of nature, my jokes, and my continually changing hair color? My love of nature definately was passed down from my grandfather, and that is a huge part of me.
Therefore, I deduce, that this silent man with a martini in his hand and an unkind, cutting joke to spew out at family functions, actually had a huge part in shaping who I am. Odd.