Written @ 8:58 p.m. on 2007-11-29
New Wind in My Sails
I truly disgusted myself by reading back in my archives yesterday. A nice person called Pantrypuff wrote that she had been perusing my archives for hours, and then I got all self-conscious. I don't think at all before, during or after my writing process...I just spew, and when I read it, that's exactly the way it comes across...as a big old bucket of self-pitying barf. Normally, I don't read it. I just write, and I enjoy a feeling of catharsis, and then I move on with my life. Thanks, though, for those who do read, and thanks for the all supportive comments. My journal writing definitely helps me cope.
SO....
Remember how I was trying to open myself up to new ideas, because I just didn't know which direction I wanted to take my life next? I stumbled across something that really had it's very beginning over the Thanksgiving holidays. My brother and sister-in-law kept telling me how difficult caring for my nephew is, and I saw how they were struggling. I helped them where I could, and I remembered how much I loved working with babies. Everyone in my family remarked at how good I was at it. My father even once told me that I should have had a baby at fifteen, because I became so much the better person after I had kids.
I came across a website that was advertising training for doulas. That is a person who helps a woman with the birthing process. There are labor and delivery doulas that go through the birth with you, rub your back, tell you different positions to try, and generally support the woman giving birth, and her family with anything they need.
There is a second type of doula, though, and that is the kind that really interests me. They are called postpartum doulas, and they go to the people's home after they have the baby, help the mom begin breastfeeding, help her with the baby, answer questions, help her be comfortable and rested, do light housework, and generally help out to make her transition easier. It's a little bit more clinical than a nursemaid, but less than a midwife. People hire you by the hour, and someone might want you to come just once and answer questions, or be there every day for the first month, or just every afternoon for a few hours.
I think I would be good at this because I am good with babies, I enjoy working with people, and I like to feel useful. I would still be able to control my own schedule, be available for my girls, and still do the telesales to fill in for the slow times between doula gigs. I have to go through some serious training, a 30 hour doula course, a breastfeeding course, read about 10 books and report on them, shadow a doula, provide references, take cpr, etc, but once I start with the postpartum, I can move on to becoming a birth doula, or a massage therapist, or a lactation consultant, or a trainer of doulas, or any combination thereof.
I've been doing some research on this, and talking to some people involved, and apparently there is a great demand. It used to be the mother and the mother-in-law were available to teach a new mom the ropes, but life isn't always like that these days. I did some figuring and the whole thing will cost me about 600 dollars for the courses, the books, and the membership to the professional organization. I can't afford that yet, but in January the courts are going to force my ex to pay some of what he owes, and I should have a decent tax return in Feb. The hourly pay would be about three times what I'm making now, but, of course, there is overhead, and I think it would be rare to work a full 40 hour week, just doing postpartum.
B. was checking out my cleavage today, and I told him,"You know, I'm going to become a breast EXPERT."
"Really?"he said. "That's funny, because I have several videos that specialize in that subject, in case you ever want to borrow them."
"I don't think my new hairy-armpitted feminist doula friends will like your kind of videos..."
"Hmm...that's too bad."
In truth, I don't have any new hairy-armpitted feminist doula friends yet. I'm just thinking about the idea, but I do find it all very exciting. It's nice to be interested in something. ANYTHING. Perhaps this could be the direction I've been waiting for? Both B. and my mom, my own personal life-coach support team, thought this would be an excellent idea. My sister even wrote me a nice, supportive email about it.
Goals....
1. Be the best mom in the world to N. and P.
2. Move to the country
3. Marry B. in 2009, and have an awesome party of a wedding, plus, obviously, a perfect marriage
4. Become fit and healthy, lose about 50 lbs.
5. Have one or two more healthy babies between 2010-15
6. Move my ex to the extreme periphery of my thoughts and my life
7. Become a well respected, sought after doula for my community.
8. Maintain my current artistic, bohemian, adventurous, damn the man lifestyle at a higher standard of living.