Written @ 8:49 p.m. on 2007-11-15
Dear Ex
Dear X,
I am so frustrated I can bearly write this. In april, you came to me and asked me to take the kids full-time, and to take care of them instead of sending them to daycare. You promised to pay me what you would have paid daycare. Then, your visitation dwindled to nearly nothing and because you got angry with me, you stopped paying.
I understand being angry at me. But you are not only hurting me. Maybe you don't understand that you not providing for and participating with your children hurts THEM. They are the ones who are missing out on books from the book fair at school, who haven't joined girl scouts or sports because of the added expenses, who are eating meals pulled from what is left in the cabinet because I can't afford groceries. They are the ones who walk to school because I am frugal with gas. They are the ones who will have fewer presents from Santa even though they were just as good if not better than the next kid this year. $1300 is missing from my November budget...that was my planned savings of October's child support, plus the child support due in November. That is $1300 of icecream, cold medicine, apple juice, school fundraisers, heat, electricity, tooth fairies and rollerskating parties for your girls. There is no way I can compensate for this loss, especially without the courtesy of a heads up to what lay ahead so that I could somehow attempt to budget. Your children are having to do without.
Money also equals time. $1300 missing from my November budget means that I am working every second that I can, plus taking classes at night so that I can take on more work. That is $1300 worth of time that could be spent focused on the needs of the children. After all they have put up with, why should they be short-changed?
I have repeatedly tried to communicate with you. I politely inform you about birthday parties, schedule changes and school events. I supply you with school papers for you to peruse. You hang up on me, cuss me, degrade me, or ignore my attempts at communication all together.
Ok, you are sick of me. Ok, you are angry. Ok, you hate me. Your reaction clearly indicates that. But what have your girls done to you to deserve this? I'm bending over backward to accomodate you. What are you doing for your children?
I could go back to work. I could move to a place where I would be better supported. I could come after you for more child support and half of daycare expenses. I haven't done any of these things. Why?
Sincerely,
Hil