Comments:

Deb - 2007-07-15 19:33:15
I'm not sure where in PA you are, but from some of what you've written you're probably within a couple hours drive from me. If you're feeling stuck drop me an email and maybe I can help you get a little break. ~deb
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greenwitch - 2007-07-15 21:21:32
Witch school is what you are doing right now..... living, being, and showing your underwear to your kids.... They are PEOPLE and will be fine if you remain honest. Of course the actions of the other people can be a bit iffy.... but, you, remain honest and it is good. As for tribe, you are a woman... that is enough.....
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Anna - 2007-07-16 06:10:15
I so know what you mean. When you look at it historically/cross-culturally, no one has been expected to spend as much time alone with kids as modern western women, cos it drives you NUTS if you're not careful. (That doesn't sound like the message of support I meant to send - sorry) Look after yourself and your needs as much as you do theirs xxx
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sdg - 2007-07-16 13:20:43
When I was still with Kate, she really didnt do a whole lot for the boys. She was stand-offish to them (not close at all) didnt do anything with them or take them anywhere, and we actually DID live together. She had tons of family that always wanted to take the kids, but Kate always said that bothered her. I did 99%. She did the rest. One of the keys to being a good parent is realizing that we make mistakes nad follow the wrong paths. One of the keys to *continue* being a good parent is knowing when its time to bail on that path. Also, I think its important that people begin to realize that there are no specific roles that parents are supposed to have anymore, and there should never have been those in the first place. Nurturer/care giver vs Provider/disciplinarian doesnt exist for one sex, one half of the couple anymore. The roles fit both sexes, more so now than ever. Dont stress out :) your doing fine.
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Smash - 2007-07-16 17:08:27
You sound like you're foing fine so don't fret. And I'm not married and don't plan to be, nor do I plan to have kids, but I think if you get together with someone who already has children then you have to be prepared to take them on as your own and love and care for them because fuck, they're just just props that come with the person you fell in love with. Take care. Smashxxx
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A. - 2007-07-17 09:32:54
Damn. You just let me go on and on with my own petty bitching yesterday and hardly made mention of what a rough time you're having of it. *Hugs* Once again I'm wishing that the three of us (you, me, Melissa) lived closer so that we could help each other out. I completely understand how you're feeling--with Alan gone all the time, there are a LOT of days that I feel like I'm about to lose it. I'm so grateful that I do have family nearby that will take her for an hour or so at a time, and I really wish that you had that option. I think it would be FINE to ask B. for help...but you'll have to actually ask. Men often need the obvious pointed out to them, you know? ;-)
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