Written @ 10:42 a.m. on 2007-05-06
Tampons, Lesbians, Magic Markers
Oh, boys and girls, do I have a treat for you today!
B. and I had a big fight due entirely to my insecurities. B. doesn't fight. It's always all me. If I could grow up a little, we could have no fights at all! Well, we soon made up, and had the following smoochy, lovey-dovey conversation...
Hil-I'm sorry. I love you.
B.- No, I'm sorry. I love you.
Hil-Did you tell your parents that I'm a terrible, evil, bitch whore?
B.-No, baby! I love you! I would never do something like that!
(pause during which he looks into my eyes wistfully, lovelingly...)
It's our little secret.
Oh my god! We both laughed until the tears rolled down! Ok, maybe you had to be there, but the way he said it was REALLY funny.
So then we did some making up, with permanent markers. What can I say, our love just oozes ART. Did I tell you, during my silent years that I had an apprenticeship in a tattoo parlor? Yeah, and a thing with a tattoo artist, if you are putting my previous entries all together. I was learning to be an artist, but I caught a staph infection from blood in the air, and I had to give up my spot. It's really depressing, but maybe I'll take it up again later in life. But, I am awesome with a magic marker.
I'm sorry these images are so large, I don't know how to shrink them like all of the cool kids. I'm just taking them with my phone, and they don't turn out TOO bad, considering. Ten points for anyone who knows where "perfect love, perfect trust" comes from.
Spring is exploding it's fertile lustiness all over my little city. The days have been sunny and warm, and dogwoods and tulips bend in every breeze. Every row home has a little tiny english-style garden in bloom. B. and I spent time yesterday walking, hand-in-hand, taking it in and eating big waffle cones. The girls went to visit my parents, and B. blew off some wrestling shows for me (ones he was attending, not wrestling in, don't talk crazy!).
Early in the day we saw a very manly looking lesbian in long cargo shorts just like the ones I was wearing (see tattoo illustration). We were talking about how cool it is to just be yourself, and be a happy lesbian, not an angry one. I was looking for comfy shoes for our walk, and B. suggested my big hiking boots, you know, because they would be comfortable.
Hil- Um, those boots and these shorts would make me look like a super dyke. That's not very romantic for our little walk.
B.- We can be dykes together! I love women! I'm one of those cool, shaved- headed lesbians. We'd be a very cute couple.
Hil-The goatee is very convincing. Do you like the indigo girls? I love them.
B.- We should go to Lilith Faire and talk about how much we hate men!
Hil-Just because a bunch of women get together, doesn't mean we sit around hating men.
B.-But that's what you always do on tv and in the movies.
Hil.-I went to Lilith Faire and it was more like,"Oh, that's so beautiful, man..." It was a big love in.
B.- Really? Ozzfest was not like that.
Hil- Yeah, I bet not.
Oh. More amusing musings.
Hil- My very catholic friends' mothers wouldn't let them use tampons until after they were married, because if they used them they wouldn't be virgins.
B-(looking absolutely flabbergasted!) WHAT?! That is totally ridiculous!
Hil- I know. They could only use pads.
B- Oh! Ooooooooh! Oh, I forgot about pads. I just thought their mothers wanted them to bleed all over themselves.
Hil-Hahahaha! No.