Written @ 11:47 a.m. on 2007-07-09
Up on the Roof
Last night we celebrated the one year anniversary of our first date. The girls were invited to a sleepover, and I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot! Child free nights have become few and far between (thank goodness!).
I am of limited resources right now, but I refuse to allow this to slow me down! We will have romance! Cheap romance! I consider it only a challenge to my extraordinary creativity.
So, I really wanted to take the Heavy M. Cowboy on a trail ride, but it turns out that a one hour ponyride costs $25 each, plus gas to get to some bucolic scene. Who knew that horses are like, expensive and stuff? Like, fer sure?
Shelve that idea for a later date. So, then the brilliant idea struck me. Candles, music, dinner...on the roof of my apartment! Eureka! Off I trot to the dollar store and got 6 bucks worth of prayer candles (in the tall glasses). I happened to have some roses wilting on the kitchen table, so I scrapped them for parts, and had a rose petal trail from the door, through the bathroom, and into my laundry room.
Allow me to explain. I don't have a rooftop garden situation. I have a big flat roof that is accessible by a pull-down set of stairs that come out of the ceiling above my washer. So, to get there, one needs to unhook the washer, pull it away from the wall, pull the string hanging from the ceiling, and climb up these rickety wooden fold-up stairs. Then one must push off a wooden cover, and hoist one's self up. Romantic.
Ok. Let me mention it was 95 degrees yesterday. Up I go with a table cloth, and candles to pin it down. Up I go with all of the pillows in the house, to repose upon. Up I go with salad, a jug of iced tea, glasses with ice, rolls, butter, etc. I said a personal prayer to the Goddess,"Um, Goddess, I'm trying to do a really nice thing for the cowboy here, so please do not make me drop this and be sliced to ribbons by broken glass. Amen."
Then I cook the main course, hamburger steaks with sauteed mushrooms and gravy. Very manly. The Cowboy will like that. The phone rings, and it's my man.
"Hi, sexy. I am cooking dinner for you. Be here at 8:30 still?"
"Well, the guys are here after practice, and we are just going over a couple things...they should be out around then."
"Tell them you have to go."
"Well, I don't want to be rude. These guys are..."
"Tell them I am lying naked waiting for you with a sparkler in my twat and be here at 8:30!!!"
"Uh. Ok."
So, I got everything up to the roof, and all set up pretty. I wrote B. a note, thanking him the most wonderful year of my life. I had no gift for him, so I cut a lock of my hair and slid it into the note. Then I waited. I got this horrible feeling that maybe all of the neighbors were watching me, with candles and dinner, sitting all by myself, looking extraordinatrily pathetic. Oh my god! What if he doesn't come! I peaked my little head over the edge of the wall to stare down at the street.
Thank god he arrived. I saw his little cowboy hat peak up out of the hole in the roof. I tried to look totally relaxed, like I do this stuff ev-er-y day. I tried to pretend that I wasn't covered in sweat and roof filth. I am sexy.
B. flabbergasted. B. was blown away. B. was speachless. B. was surprised. B. was only slightly disappointed I didn't have a sparkler you-know-where. Seriously though, don't tell anybody...he cried. Girls, with just $6 worth of candles from the dollar store, you too can reduce your man to tears!
Mission Accomplished.
Next year, ponyrides.